I'll step carefully here, because I don't want a pack of irate rollergirls to beat me up. (Just one could do the job – hell, half of one could do the job.) Last week, after Seattle's flat-track roller derby league the Rat City Rollergirls' opened its third season, we asked you to vote for your favorite Rat City team. There were four to choose from: The Sockit Wenches, last years' champions and a beautiful pack of speed demons; the Throttle Rockets, a hard-hitting squad of eight-wheeled Barbarellas; the Derby Liberation Front, a comely group of revolutionaries and the Season 1 champs; and Grave Danger, those exquisite corpses and perennial underdogs. Danger placed third of four in 2005 play; last year, they came in fourth. The underworld howled in dismay.

That is, until last week. In a heart-stopping round of play, Grave Danger beat the Sockit Wenches, effectively throwing down the gauntlet to the other two teams. Some say it was the team's New Orleans funeral-like entrance, complete with black parasols; others would say it's the infusion of new blood into the body, with several new skaters and a new mascot, that voodoo lounge lizard Baron Samedi, leading this year's charge. Personally, I think they made a blood sacrifice of a team member; I haven't seen Lil' Hateful in months.

Whatever the reason, you chose Grave Danger, and they're very grateful. And even though every girl on the team would tell you that she's part of a kick-ass league – the best league in the West, in fact, after Rat City's recent wins at the Dust Devil regional tournament – it's always a good thing when your team wins. Today, a few members of Grave Danger's zombie squad take a break from practicing their hip checks and stoking suspicious bonfires to give some love back to the fans.

(Oh, by the way: My girlfriend is, um, on Grave Danger. As I said before, I'm stepping carefully here, rollergirls. Please don't hurt me.)

There are three other much-beloved Rat City teams. What makes Grave Danger the fans' favorite? Is voodoo somehow involved?

Skate Trooper, #55: Is that why Marie Laveau was at practice last week?

PamOpticon, #*69: It's our uniforms. Red is the color of love. And blood. And cranberry sauce.

Sara Problem, #?: We have the best fans. It blows me away when I look out at (GD's cheering section) the GraveYard, and it's a sea of red and black.

Bruise Lee, #75: I think we're the fans' favorite because we're the best-looking team, and also because we're the underdogs. Everyone loves the underdogs.

Rettig to Rumble, #29, team captain: The energy, drive and sheer determination of this fierce and growling pack of hellhounds cannot be denied.

Selma Soul, #666: Who wouldn't love a team that never gives up?

Grave Danger
GEOFF CARTER
Baron Samedi lays some voodoo on the crowd.

What's your favorite thing about skating with Grave Danger? Is it your teammates, the awesome red-and-black uniforms, or the invigorating power of pure evil?

 

Sara Problem: It's the passion of our skaters, captains, our manager Baron Samedi, alumni and coaches. At the last bout I heard over and over from the Wenches, "Oh, you guys really wanted that win." Of course we wanted to win! Danger always wants to win!

Jinx, #7: We are Legion – we skate as one.

Morning Gory, #28: I couldn't have found a group of such clever, funny, insightful, motivated, devil-eyed women anywhere.

Bruise Lee: I double-dog-dare you to find a better group of girls. The uniforms don't hurt, either.

Say we could put any team – derby or non-derby, current or historical, real or fictional - on skates and pit that squad against Grave Danger in flat-track combat (like, say, GD vs. the Bush Administration, or GD vs. the cast of "Ugly Betty"). Who would you play, and how would Grave Danger take them down?

Skate Trooper: The "A-Team." Mr. T would be a tough blocker, but we'd swallow him up with our blocking and slide our jammer right through!

Sara Problem: I would like to get the boys of Le Stade Francais to strap on some skates ... only because I would plan to not play derby at all, but jump on top of them. Ooh la la! Viva le France!

AnnMunition, #357: I'd like to bout against the first anime-themed roller derby team out of Japan. And the Catholic Church.

PamOpticon: The Transformers! Optimus Prime and the Autobots, you're going down! Megatron and the rest of the Predacons, we shall smite you!

Bruise Lee: Kung Fu Theater. We'd take 'em all on ... and leave them writhing around on the floor, crying to their mommies.

Rettig to Rumble: My girls could take on the Devil himself, with all of his minions blocking for him and Danger would still come out on top. But I would personally like to roll against Ann Coulter, one on one.


Alright, I'll give you a chance to tip your horns to your adversaries: Say something nice about the other three Rat City teams.

Skate Trooper: The Sockit Wenches gave us one tough fight. Their level of play made our victory very meaningful.

Morning Gory: The Throttle Rockets can throw a rowdy party. And their blockers rattle my bones.

PamOpticon: The Derby Liberation Front remains unstoppable – every year their team play gets more and more cohesive. I'm pretty much convinced they've got mass-rad telepathic skills.

Rettig to Rumble: Each and every player, coach and volunteer for Rat City pours their heart into this league... Every skater deserves proper recognition as a true athlete. It's an honor to skate against them.

Jinx: They all keep very neat and trimmed nails.

Now, having said something nice about those other three teams, what are you guys going to do to them this season?

Jinx: Claw their eyes out.

Copyright © 2009 The Seattle Times Company