Cerebral Itch greeting cards channel your inner snark

Snarky [SNAHR-kee]: adj. Any language that contains quips or comments containing sarcastic or satirical witticisms intended as blunt irony.

The wordsmiths at San Diego-based Cerebral Itch know from snarky.

Their selection of "greeting" cards, penned in such wonderfully wicked prose that you can't help but laugh out loud, are blasted with biting messages of remorse, lust and general dislike. My favorites come from the breakup and divorce series. A sampling:

I would've preferred "Widow," but I'll settle for "Divorcee"

Breakup fact: He was a jackass and he will most assuredly die alone

Now that you are single again, I will tolerate your incessant giggling, promiscuity unbecoming a person of your age, and the newfound zest for life that you snatched back from that S.O.B.

Don't think of him so much as your Ex; think of him as nothing more than a bundle of insecurities wrapped in a soft shell of inadequacy who is paving your way to better times

Cerebral Itch also offers cards for birthdays (Happy birthday you miserable cranky S.O.B.), anniversaries (Sweetheart, you're the best first wife any man could ask for) and "odd occasions" such as plastic surgery (Love the new rack). The cards are $3 each and available in all of their crass wonderfulness at Portage Bay Goods.